Finding Your Anchor: Tools to Navigate Grief

Grief-what a layered, emotional whirlwind, isn’t it? It’s not this neat linear path that we carefully traverse; it’s chaotic, uncharted, and deeply personal. Every single journey is its own masterpiece of sorrow and strength. And here’s the thing—there’s no map, no one-size-fits-all guide. But there are tools, beautiful and grounding tools, that can help us find our way. Tools that resonate with our souls and allow us to let the grief flow.

Let me share something from my heart. When I was 21, I faced a loss that shook the very ground beneath me—my sister, Zorana, passed away in a car accident. She was only 18. I won’t sugarcoat it; the grief was overwhelming, like waves crashing against my chest. But somehow, instinctively, I figured out what worked for me. And that’s where the light began to shine through.

What helped me were the very things I was drawn to—things I already loved. Writing became my anchor. Oh, the power of pen and paper! I’d write letters to Zorana, addressing her as though I were journaling to her in a diary. Poems too—sometimes driving home from college, sometimes in the quiet of my room. I’d let the words wrap around my emotions, bridging my heart with hers.

And let’s not forget conversations. Talking has always been my way of untangling life’s knots, and grief was no exception. I’d share my pain, memories, and messy questions with those I trusted. It wasn’t always comfortable, but wow, was it healing.

As a coach, this is where I start with others. We talk about those anchors, those tools that feel natural to them. And then, we build their “grief toolbox” together—a personalized set of ways to navigate the uncharted terrain of loss.

Here’s the magic of grief tools—there’s no rulebook. They’re as unique as the person creating them. But I can share some ideas to spark inspiration:

• Movement: If you’re an athlete, a runner, or a yogi, moving your body can help move your emotions. Maybe a walk in honor of your loved one or a session to breathe through it.

• Creativity: Art, photography, music—these aren’t just hobbies; they can be lifelines. Snap a photo that captures a memory, hum a melody that sparks joy, or paint your feelings onto a canvas.

• Companionship: Animals are gifts, aren’t they? Whether cuddling your dog or volunteering at a shelter, the unconditional love they offer can be profound.

• Meditation and Prayer: Sitting in stillness, praying, or grounding yourself in affirmations can connect you to a higher power and bring peace.

• Self-Care: Baths, books, cups of tea—these moments might feel small but are deeply nourishing. They can remind you that you’re still here, still deserving of gentleness.

• Storytelling and Journaling: Writing is cathartic. Whether it’s letters to your loved one, journals, or creative stories inspired by them, it’s a way to process what’s unspoken.

Grief isn’t just about loss; it’s about transitions. It can show up in the shedding of an old identity as we grow into someone new—motherhood, a career change, moving homes. It’s complex, messy, and beautifully human.

The tools we choose to navigate grief should resonate with who we are at our core. Whether it’s journaling, movement, art, or spending time in nature, the key lies in exploring what feels authentic and healing for you. By tapping into your passions and natural outlets, you can create a grief toolbox that reflects your unique journey and provides comfort as you process your emotions.

If you’re seeking support in discovering the tools that work best for you, I’d be honored to guide you. Together, we can explore approaches that feel true to your heart and help you find light even in the most challenging times. You don’t have to go through it alone—let’s navigate this journey together.